Tales Of A Latch Key Coon Cat

Legend Loves Boxes
But A Box Can Only Occupy Him For So Long ...

Happy Wordless Wednesday and What's On Your Workdesk Wednesday to you all! As you know, I fully expected Mom to be back at the helm this week so I could tend to important matters of state, like rolling around in catnip and sunning myself on the veranda, but alas, that is not to be. Instead, while Mom is working until she is bleary eyed on migration matters, Tsunami and I are left to fend for ourselves. We must find our own entertainment. We must forage for our own food. In other words, we’ve become Latch Key Coon Cats!

So, it’s time for another tough love tell-all. As I’ve discovered, there’s nothing like a shocking expose to get the attention of Mom and Dad.

Never Let A Cat Discover An Empty Food Bowl

Imagine how you would feel if you walked into your favorite restaurant – eager to savor your favorite meal – only to discover that the wait staff had not only misplaced your reservation, but gone on break and left the serving dishes filled with crumbs from the previous meal!

That's what happened to me on a recent trip to my favorite dining establishment, The Coon Cafe. Now, a more reticent Coon might have gotten up, walked out, and grabbed a meal down the street at the Precious Paws Pub, where food is always plentiful, but not me. I took this incident rather personally, and I wasn't about to tolerate such shoddy treatment. So, I decided to teach the owners a lesson.

Hunting Time

I’m a big believer that the punishment should fit the crime. So, I decided, what better way to express my displeasure than to rustle up my own dinner and add it to The Coon Café menu?

First, I went out and hunted the plumpest mouse I could find.

Then, I brought it inside and proudly paraded it before all of the paying customers. This sent everyone scurrying for cover and guaranteed me the best choice of seats in the house.

Dinner Is Served

Finally, I walked up to the buffet, where the Fresh Catch Of The Day should have been waiting for me, and plopped my mouse on the platter.

Yes, I know that’s a lot of effort to make a point. But, it’s my belief that when the owners return – or, when the buzz from their (former) customers reach them – they will never treat me, the Resident VIP, with such contempt and disdain again.

Admiring My Handiwork

What do you think? Will today’s tough love scheme pay off? Will I be rewarded with bottomless bowls of fresh tuna and succulent turkey now that the world has heard my story? Or, will my attention-seeking antics doom me to eating vending machine rations for publishing yet another tell-all tale?

My fate may ultimately lie in your hands. Let your voice be heard. Use your influence for good!

Until next time:
Legend, The Latch Key Coon Cat